So today’s blog is going to be about my Hijab Story. I will be vlogging about this too, because some people might prefer video over reading or maybe both!
So watch this space for the link soon.
So Who, What, When, Why, How…?
When I was little, so like around 8-9 years old, wearing a hijab was like an on and off thing. I never really wore it full on. Sometimes I’d wear it, sometimes I wouldn’t. I don’t really know why, but to think about it, probably because I was really young and didn’t know much about the importance of wearing the hijab. Not that I wasn’t taught it, but because I just didn’t understand the importance of it then.
Living in Leicester was a good advantage, especially from the area I’m from, there were and still are many Muslims. So growing up with was kind of like “ooh they look pretty in a hijab” or “Mama, I want to wear one too!” And I guess that’s why it was an on and off thing as well. Because I wore it in a way as if an accessory. But I was little and Mama probably didn’t want to force me into it, which I think is completely right.
**I understand those who wish their little girlies to wear a hijab and so do this by making them wear it from a very young age. However, personally, I believe its better if they make their own decision and feel like they should themselves. In that way, they understand the importance of wearing it. I’m not saying this with any negativity, but it may cause thoughts of oppression.
And NO, I write this in block capitals and bold, WEARING A HIJAB IS NOT OPPRESSION! For those who believe this or may have any thoughts of this, Please and I mean it, please go and find out. Read about it. Find out more about Islam and remove these thoughts. We telling you is not enough; look through and find out that of which you question, and you will see the peace Islam brings and that the women are not oppressed.**
Ok back to my hijab story…
Then it came to year 6, which was my last year in primary school, so I was about 10-ish years old. I don’t think I wore a scarf this year and I didn’t wear a scarf in year 7 either, which was my first year in secondary.
I remember coming to the end of that year and telling all my friends to wait for a surprise after the summer holidays. This was my decision to wear a scarf. I told Mama about this and I remember her telling me that the decision was solely mine of when I wanted to start wearing a hijab, but when I did, I had to keep it on permanently. So this would really be the decision for life. Alhamdulillah, my decision remained the same and I decided that yes, I will be wearing a hijab from now till forever.
Because it was the Summer holidays and we were going to Kenya, I thought it would be good practise, especially in the hot conditions. Despite the extra luggage problems, I think it went really well. And I quite enjoyed wearing a hijab on my head.
But even then, I don’t think I was much interested in the importance of wearing a hijab and why women actually wore it. I just found it pretty and looked really nice.
This was the stage when all my acne kicked in as well. So instead of wearing a hijab for the reasons I intended to wear it for, it was more of a concealer, to hide most of my spots and scars around my face. I’d wear my scarf slightly forward and more in from the sides too, so that places of where most of my spots and scars were hidden. So that intention that I once had of wearing the hijab, was now gone and what I thought people thought of me because of my acne, was more important.
This remained like this for a long while until I came to a point where I thought it didn’t really matter anymore. That it didn’t matter to me what people thought. I was happy the way I was and the way Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala had made me. And that was an instant self-esteem boost.
So I continued wearing my hijab and even then it wasn’t to the maximum. As in I’d wear it on a daily: to school, to town, to the park, when I went out with friends and family… But I wouldn’t wear it to petty parties, weddings, on holidays nd stuff. To be honest, I can’t be specific when I didn’t wear it, I just wouldn’t when I didn’t want to, if it wasn’t an everyday outing.
But then one thing made me really think about this and what I was doing. It was the contradiction feeling. I used to see (and still do see) those same girls that I’ve grown with, was inspired to wear a hijab by, those same girls, take their hijab off, maybe fancy up a bit too. And what’s worse, seeing them leave the house with a hijab and even a jilbab sometimes, but then be in town without one and in a completely different attire. It made me feel like what is the actual point of wearing the hijab if you’re going to go out and take it off. That’s when I realised that this is somewhat what I am doing too. I’m no different. I am a contradiction to myself. If I am wearing a hijab on my head for the sake of Allah and for the sake of my religion, then I should wear it and not, not wear it if I didn’t want to.
And it was time I actually kept it on for once. And this is when I went on a European coach tour as a post exam treat by my favourite aunty (@naz1makhan on Instagram) and I decided that I shall keep my hijab on for this holiday and not take it off. And Alhamdulillah it was brilliant and I loved it. And it also made me feel modest. This was only last year. Not even that long ago. We had a blast on this holiday and it was by far the best time I’ve ever had, ever! Just last week, me and Mama were looking for some outfits for a family wedding we were to a attend. And I told her it is going to be difficult for me. She asked why? and I replied, “matching the hijabs to the outfits are gonna be a tricky one.” Hmmm now that’s a hard one, wouldn’t you agree ayy?! At this moment, I was quite proud of myself. And I am smiling while writing this too, because I truly am proud of myself and I know Mama is too. It was the first time I ever wore a hijab to a wedding. No, it wasn’t as hard as I thought for wearing a hijab at a wedding. And what made me smile more is that, because no-one expected this, they loved it and smiled and I was given lots of positive feedback for this ‘change’.
One other reason, which helps me keep my hijab on is my fashion blogging. I want to be an inspiration. I want girls out there feel like they can still look good and modest in their most wanted outfits, even with a hijab. Many feel like they’ll be limited on what to wear and will have to stick to the same old boring clothes because they wear a hijab. Or that a hijab won’t look nice with certain outfits. I know, because I felt the same before. But that is not the case. Wearing the hijab is modest and beautiful. Yes, it does matter how you see modesty, but wearing a hijab seriously one of the best decisions in my life.❤️ I’m so glad i made this decision because it somewhat made me feel “more muslim”. Yeah I know that this sounds completely weird, like what am I even saying?! Lol. But yes, it does. I now understand the hijab, I now can view the world and see islam more clearly. This obviously comes with age, but wearing hijab kinda shows me where my limits are and I appreciate that a lot.
Wearing a hijab has come with so many plus points. Some of which I didn’t expect, like gaining respect. Especially in the times now with what media shows and what people think of Muslims, I thought I might just be looked at in a negative way by people. But that wasn’t the case. Alhamdulillah. In fact, I gained much respect by classmates of the other gender. It’s like they knew that there were limits and they seemed to respect me in like a friendly way – not like I was some old granny lool! But yeah.
What I feared was the way people would look at a hijabi now that all this rubbish is all over the news, but Alhamdulillah it didn’t concern me because people here in Leicester are simply wonderful and so friendly.
Ooh! One more thing!
Bad Hair Day?! No-one can see that under that hijab of yours 😜😜
So girlies, this is my hijab story…
Wear the hijab when you feel the time is right. Don’t wear it because you have to, because in this way you won’t know why you wear it, you won’t understand the meaning and the feeling behind wearing the hijab.
And remember, the simple, the better. Let’s not get “fancy” with the camel-humped hijabs or bling-bling hijabs or the wearing the hijab with 7/8ths of your hair showing, because that isn’t the right way (and tbh it doesn’t look modest either)